I haven't written in a bit because life has been full. Today I had an hour free to...spend. I hate to kill or waste time when life is full so I decided to spend it in the most relaxing way I could think of after an extra full weekend with some precious young people. The most relaxing and accessable thing I could think of was a stop in at my favorite book store for a latte and some browsing. I think few people go to bookstores to actually buy books these days...at least I don't. But I love browsing book stores; reading a chapter here, a page or two there. Bookstores are a never ending realm of possibilities to me. Books are full of things waiting to be discovered.
Today I read about the deeper meaning of choosing clothes (I actually get that a little bit but who really spends $XXX.XX on Jeans because they express your personality the best!), what to do on my next visit to Prague and Budapest (I wish!), and a chapter about trying to do everything (how timely God).
I found that timely chapter while wandering through the Christian book section. I noticed the book because it had a picture of chocolate on the front and was titled "bittersweet". Written by Shauna Niequist, the book is a collection of thoughts and reflections on life's lessons. I only read one chapter but it "happened" to be the right one. God is good like that.
Shauna (I feel like we're on a first name basis already) shared about her tendency to continually add to her checklist of things to do. Finally one day she wrote on her checklist: {Do Everything Better}. That and a conversation with her husband made her realize that she needed to change something. She was running herself ragged trying to be supermom, superwife, superchristian and an all around superwoman. She dreamed about a life where she wasn't tired all the time. One day Shauna received some advice from a wise woman that lead her to realize that doing the things she loved (and doing them well) meant NOT doing a host of other things. The result of these revelations was another list. Two actually. On one list she wrote the things she did do - things like loving God, caring for her marriage and family, entertaining friends, and (good for me) writing. The other list was things she did NOT do; things like gardening, baking, and making her own baby food.
I immediately thought of my own very full and sometimes exhausting life. I have a very hard time saying no when there is a need to be filled. I guess I find myself trying to be Jesus. (Problem...um...yes). I honestly feel a little scared. What if I say no to something that I should do? But the opposite is true: what if I say yes to something I shouldn't do? When faced with a need, my first question should be to God. Do you want me to say yes? I'm also want to ask myself: is this something I love, something that makes me come alive? Obviously there are times to do things because they need to be done but if God tells me to say no, I can be confident that He has a plan to fill that need. We serve a God that does all things well; He can be trusted to fill every need. I learned that so practically last summer in Mozambique where I watched God meet need after need. This weekend, I got exhausted doing something I love, something that makes me come alive. I think it's time to look for things that I don't do so I can have more weekends like this one.
