Up and Down...Up and Down....Up and Down

I find myself at the end of another week already. The last couple weeks Saturday mornings have surprised me with how quickly they show up. Time is defiantly going quickly here, and I'm not even that busy yet.

This week has been another week filled with ups and downs. I say another because the past couple weeks have been this way. Life here in Thailand is beginning to feel more normal, but there are still so many things that are so new. Deeper then the physical and obvious differences, I'm talking about the new relationships, new ways of thinking and the deepest difference, religious beliefs. And not all of these come from being in a foreign country and a different culture. Several of the new experiences come from relationships with team mates, family and friends back home. And even though life is beginning to feel more normal here, there are still lots of things that are challenging and often frustrating. Things like finding a church, learning a language, and living on a budget.

I'm not listing all of these things to complain. I love life here and don't in any way, shape or form want to leave or even change much of anything about life. I am just facing a lot of new and challenging experiences and because of that finding a lot of ups and downs in life. Like on Tuesday, I was so encouraged and excited about life because of a good morning in language class, good times with the Lord and some awesome connections we made with other missionaries here in Chiang Mai. However on Wednesday night, I found myself extremely discouraged because of language study, relationships with team mates and missing my family. I knew coming into this internship that it would be one of the hardest things I've ever done but one of the best. And that is so true. This is an extremely challenging season of life but it is one of the sweetest because I'm in the center of the Lord's will for my life. I knew that during this time I would learn to depend on the Lord in deeper ways then ever before and that is exactly what is happening. I'm clinging to Jesus and learning more about Him then ever before in my life. He is the constant when everything else is up and down. Praise the Lord!!

Pictures of Life

I haven't put up very many pictures yet so I thought I would give you a taste of everyday life in Chaing Mai with a few pictures:
This is my corner of the room I share with two other girls on my team. The matteres is made of bamboo with very little padding - I think it's because of the heat but it's not the most comfortable thing to sleep on...I'm getting used to it too. Also notice the lack of blankets - I couldn't bring any with me because I was packing so light and haven't seen the need to buy any because of the heat. Don't you love my pink curtains? Colors like pink, purple and yellow are very popular for decorating over here - our house is pink and all the curtains throughout it are as well.

This is a street in our neighborhood. From almost anywhere in the city, there is a view of the mountains that almost surround it. I think they are beautiful and I'm realizing what I missed not growning up around mountains.

This meal is called "Kaw Soy Gai"; it's a soup kind of dish made with coconut milk, boiled chicken and rice noodles. This is one of my favorite meals here in Thailand - it's a little bit spicy and very rich. In Thailand they don't eat with thier forks - they only use them to push the food onto a spoon or eat with chopsticks. This meal is a challenge with any utinsil and is messy no matter what you do. One of the best parts about it is that we can buy it for 25 bhat...which is about 70 cents American.
and the resterant that makes it the best is just down the road from us - about a 5 minute walk.

But we don't walk as much anymore since we recently aquired a small fleet of motercycles. When I say small fleet I mean six - everyone on our team has one, except for me. So I hope on the back of someone elses. No worries Momma - we all where helmets. This is not only a really fun way to get around town but it is also much cheaper then public transportation or buying a car.
Here are a couple pictures of the streets we drive through daily.

The red vehicals you see in the picture are called "Soung-taos". They are like pick up trucks with the back covered and little benches to sit on. Although not expensive compared to American prices, we are still saving a bunch of money not paying them for our daily transportation.

Mango Stand!

Flower Market!
Buddhism is the prominent religion here in Thailand. This is a larger version of the spirit houses that are in front of nearly every home and business. Buddhists believe that the evil spirits will live inside of these rather then in thier homes.
Chiang Mai has more then a hundred Buddhist temples so monks are nothing out of the ordinary here.

Khawjai!

Khawjai means to understand in Thai.
Every spare moment I have is spent studying the Thai language. Four days a week, three hours a day with a teacher at home plus independent study and practice with Thai people. Thai is a challenging language, especially for someone that has spoken a western language their entire lives. They have sounds that we don't even have in english and tones that change the meanings of a given word. Not only is it hard to learn and remember all the things we are learning but understanding and being understood in a conversation with Thai people is challenging too. They talk really fast and once they hear you speak a small sentence they assume you have a fluent understanding of the language. And my American midwest accent doesn't help them understand me either.

The Face of confusion...
I have been discouraged because I'm not learning as fast as I want to and I'm not understanding or being understood in this language when I converse with locals. But today in class I was encouraged when I was able to understand our teacher giving us direction in Thai. I could pick up words I knew and get the idea of what she was saying to us. Also understanding people at the restaurant we went to for lunch was exciting. I was able to order, talk about the food and pay for my meal all in Thai. My trip to "seven" (as they call 7/11 here) for orange juce was encouraging too. The girl behind the counter asked me if I had eaten today which is a common greeting here, it's like asking "how are you?". I wasn't sure how to respond...but when I got home I asked my team mates and now I know for next time. Learning this language is going to take time and grace from the Lord to persevere. Pray for me and my team that the Lord would give us supernatural understanding to learn Thai so we can communicate His glory and love to them in their own language. Grace and peace to you from the Lord Jesus Christ!

What can I do?

I've lived in Thailand for almost three weeks now and I'm learning so much about the Lord, this culture, these people and their language. At times I feel overwhelmed but God gives us GRACE for the things He calls us too and it has been amazing.

For someone with the spiritual gift of MERCY, this can be a hard corner of the world to live in. I know that in America some of the same things happen but it is so much more blatant and obvious here. Things like prostitution, beggars, poverty, corruption, injustice and false religion are so visible here. One of the roads that we frequently drive down on our way home from down town has at least five or six very obvious brothels on it. The markets are full of beggars, maimed and crippled, some of them young children. And even in the grocery stores you see Buddhist monks with their orange robes and shaved heads, some of them very young boys, probably about seven or eight years old.

I don't want to paint an over-dramatized picture, there are some parts of the city, like the mall, where it feels totally western with Thai people and Thai food. But the Lord has really opened my eyes to the poor, unlovely, unwanted and ignored people of the world. Like I said before, it's not easy living here seeing these things. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes, especially knowing that this is only a fraction of the human suffering in the world. I want to fix it all, to change everything right now and it is so impossible. It is a heavy burden to bear, the suffering of the world.

But then I remember I don't have to. I've been reading through the gospel of John since I've been here and the Holy Spirit has really highlighted Jesus' relationship with His Heavenly Father. Over and over Jesus talks about how He is doing the Father's will and following the Father.

"...I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me." (John 8:28)

When Jesus walked the earth He didn't heal every single sick person, He didn't raise from the dead every widow's son and He didn't deliver all of the demon possesed. But He walked in obedience to the Father. That is all He is asking of us. This morning I was having a hard time with all of this and I was asking the Lord, what can I do? And it was like He said,

"Listen to my voice and respond"

I don't want to just accept and be okay with the fact that there will always be suffering in the world until Jesus returns but I, we can't live life miserable and depressed because we can't save the world. That was Jesus' job; it is our responsability to follow Him. To take up our cross daily, to die to ourselves and do whatever He asks of us.

We can't do everything...but we can do something.

I made it!!

Here I am in the land of Thai!
I've been here since Saturday April 25th but we just got internet in our house yesterday so this is the first chance I've had to post about my new home.

Right now we are just in the middle of country orientation; learning our way around the city, a little of the language and settling in to our new house.

This is our team with our leaders Mindee and Jasmine
From left to right: Mindee, Sasha, Brianna, Me, Michelle and Jasmine
Front row (all by his brave self, our only man): Jarred
This was during a trip we took around the city that took us to a coffee shop, the zoo, lunch and finally to one of the largest buddhist temples in the area. The picture was taken from the temple - its about 2/3 of the way up a mountain overlooking the city. It was a sobering experience to see such beauty dedicated to something so empty.
This is our front gate - all the houses in our neighborhood have gates around them and most of our neighbors have dogs - the only thing I don't like about living in this country.

This is our little pink house...it's actually not that little. I'm pretty sure it is larger then my parents house back home.

I will be posting videos of the inside soon so stay tuned!

The most meaningful part of our time here so far has been our team meetings together everyday before class. The Lord has been giving all of us vision and passion to see Him glorified in this land so trapped in darkness. We are super excited to join with Him in what He is already doing here. Keep us in your prayers as we continue ajusting and begin learning a very challenging language. Much love!!

Thailand Slideshow!

Here is a slideshow my sister put together for me about my internship to Thailand...starting in three weeks!!

A God that answers prayers...

This week it was demonstrated to me very clearly that I serve a God that answers prayers. On Monday (March 23) I was seeking God about finances for my internship to Thailand and I began asking Him for 75% of my budget by the end of the week (I was at about 50% on Monday). The week progressed and I didn't really think about my request...that is until Wednesday when my Dad informed me of a resource I didn't know about that ended up providing quite a sum of cash. Then I got a phone call about another possibility that could bring in another large amount. These two big events along with some other smaller donations all reminded me of how God ALWAYS provides for His work. If everything pans out like I hope it will - I might be at more then 75% of my budget.
Then I remembered my prayer. My little prayer, prayed out of a heart filled with hope but faith smaller then a mustard seed. The Lord reminded me through this little experience that He hears our prayers, no matter what size our faith and expectation is. And He will answer those prayers and provide for His work regardless of how much faith we ask with. Our God is Awesome and Faithful - He will make His will happen regardless of whether or not we are willing to move with Him but when we are seeking to be aligned with His will - He does amazing things!!

Glory to God!!